Saturday, January 14, 2012
Getting back to the business of living!
Well, it is Saturday morning and I find myself sitting on the couch like I do most mornings, with my puppy Emma either stretched out on my lap or lying across one shoulder looking like she is watching what I am doing. Steve is sleeping, in fact, I should still be asleep too since I waited up for him and we didn't get to bed until about 5 am. I have been checking my email, Facebook, playing Words with Friends, and basically just killing time til Steve wakes up. Something hit me a while ago, and I am sitting here feeling terrible about it. We have been "celebrating" our "monthly anniversary" every month since we got married, almost 18 years ago. It has become somewhat of a competition to see who remembers first, and we have each gone to great lengths to "win" - one time I got up in the middle of the night and wrote Happy (whatever month like 120 months) Anniversary on the bathroom mirror in lipstick, so when he got up I would have already positioned myself to be the "winner"!! Anyway, for whatever the reason, we both forgot on Thursday, the 12th. That is the first time I think we have actually forgotten since we got married!!!!! Anyway, he is still the love of my life, my hero, best friend, encourager, you name it!!! Now Emma is snoring on my shoulder. What a dog! I love her so much - her presence brings me such calm and peace. She is going to be 8 years old in April. Hard to believe she has been with us for that long. Sure hope she is with us for a long time still! I still find myself lacking enough motivation to finish unpacking boxes and organizing the house. We have been here since August 5. Now I have to say it is not because I am lazy, though sometimes I do need to be more active than I am. I hadn't been here a month before I went to Michigan for 6 weeks to be with my momma who was starting to decline. After I went back home, the next month found me almost paralyzed as I spent hours on the phone checking in with mom, my sister, mom's caregivers who were required after I left, and worrying so much about my momma, I couldn't get anything done. Then, on November 18 I rushed back to Michigan in time to tell her I loved her before she passed away on November 20. And, ever since then, I have struggled to keep going. I dissolve into tears without warning a lot of the time. I miss her so much. Now both of my parents are gone - Momma died just ten days before the one year anniversary of my dad's passing. Steve has been incredibly supportive during this tough time, but I know that I need to pull something out of somewhere to get up and get going with my life. I need to get my sewing room organized, or even somewhat organized, so I can start sewing and making the purses I want to sell on Etsy. I think putting this out here in print is going to help me. Anyway, today I will set down a couple of goals for the weekend and then hold myself accountable and get back on my blog Monday and report my progress. My goals are: 1. Finish putting away the Christmas decorations. 2. Catch up on the laundry. 3. Empty at least two boxes. Hope everyone has a great weekend!